


Battle of the Peppers

by Gautiers



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Married Life, Post-Canon, Post-War, sylvain and fam have a pepper eating contest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gautiers/pseuds/Gautiers
Summary: Sylvain's love for spicy foods has been inherited by his three children. Of course, what's a spice-loving family without a little friendly competition? A scenario in which Byleth is forced to witness her husband and children compete to see who can last the longest in the Battle of the Peppers.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 8
Kudos: 124





	Battle of the Peppers

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i'm back with a little domestic fluff and family bonding!!! my headcanon is that byleth and sylvain have three kids. alphonse, the oldest at age 14; and their twins celia and iva, both age 10. al and his dad like to compete and you know that the twins have to follow in their big brother's footsteps, so any competition is a whole family affair. this is just some really lighthearted stuff, and i wanted to get the idea out and share it others. hope you guys enjoy!

Byleth sometimes thought she had married an idiot, and somehow, in turn, bred idiot children. There  _ had _ to be a genetic component, somewhere. After all, who ate Fodlan Reapers of their own sane, free will?

+++

“Papa, are you sure you don’t want to add more pepper to it?”

“Iva, if we add too much at the start, there won’t be build up to the finale. We have to go -- Celia! Don’t think I don’t see you trying to add more to the soup!”

“Pops, should I get the bowls for us?”

“Yes, that would be great Al, thank -- Iva, no! We have to add the pepper in  _ stages _ . Otherwise it defeats the purpose of this!”

Byleth stared in muted horror as she watched her family prepare for what her son, Alphonse, referred to fondly as the Battle of the Peppers. It was something born spontaneously between Al and Sylvain one night at dinner. Al had just turned seven at the time, while Iva and Celia were three, and was a complete momma’s boy. There wasn’t a day that he and Sylvain didn’t vy for Byleth’s affections, and every little thing, whether it be chores or acts of kindness, became a competition between the two. 

Byleth had made spicy fish and turnip stew one night and made it a little hotter than normal per her husband’s request. Al bet his father that he could eat it hotter than Sylvain could and, immature as he was when it came to Byleth, added more pepper than what his son had added. Needless to say, both of them frequented the bathroom more than they cared to admit and whimpered every time they sat on their bums. 

Now that their daughters were older, Iva and Celia, too, wanted to join in on the competition, not wanting to be outdone by their older brother. 

“Alright, do you kids remember what order we put the peppers in?” Sylvain asked once the children were in their seats.

Iva raised her hand and pointed to the first bowl lined up on the table. “The first one is the Boramas pepper.”

“Right, and next?”

Celia raised her hand. “The Morfis bell!”

“Good girl! What’s after that?”

Al proudly announced his answer, “The Dagdan dagger.”

“That’s my boy. Then we have the Myrddin rose, and finally, the hottest of them all, the Fodlan Reaper! I wonder which one of us will make it to the last bowl?”

“I’m definitely going to beat you, Pops,” Al declared, puffing up his chest and looking smugly at his father. 

Celia popped up on her chair and raised a tiny fist. “No, I will!”

“I’m gonna win this time,” Iva chimed in, her lips forming a tiny pout.

“Sylvain, is this even safe for our children?” Byleth interjected, her brows furrowed with worry. “I mean, that last pepper is called the Fodlan Reaper for Goddess’s sake. Celia and Iva are only 10 years of age!”

“Wifey, this is an annual tradition! Besides, they’re our kids; they’ll be able to handle the heat. Right?”

He was met by a chorus of “yeah’s,” and grinned smugly at his wife.

The Archbishop could only close her eyes and shake her head in defeat. “Don’t come crying to me when you’re all fighting for the toilet then.” They were all idiots, the lot of them, and they were hers. 

Goddess help her. She prayed she would not be nursing anyone on the bathroom floor that night.

+++

“Did we learn our lesson tonight?” Byleth sighed wearily, her arms wrapped around her four children in bed, the last being her own husband. It was late at night, and Byleth was exhausted. 

Celia whimpered and nuzzled closer to her mother’s bosom on side while Alphonse cuddled the other side. Sylvain was pressed against her side while Iva rested directly on her belly.

“Mama, my tummy hurts,” Alphonse sniffled. 

“Do you know why?”

“Because I ate the Fodlan Reaper.”

“Exactly. What are we never doing again?”

“...Eating the Fodlan Reaper…”

“Iva, Celia, did you hear that?”

“...Yes, Mama…”

“ _ Husband _ ?”

“...Yes, wife…”

“We’re banning the Battle of the Peppers.”

Sylvain immediately shot up and gave Byleth a pleading look. “But tradition!”

Byleth returned his look with a withering stare. “Do you want it to be tradition to fight over the toilet as well?”

The Margrave had no other response and laid back down.

And so, the Battle of the Peppers came to an end, though Sylvain would secretly hold the competition now and then when Byleth wasn’t home.

**Author's Note:**

> the peppers mentioned were kind of inspired by both geographical locations in fodlan and also the scoville heat index. i gotta say, coming up with names were harder than i thought they'd be.


End file.
